We have a story – Chiron and Paul and Kimberley. This morning I thought I could tell it, but for now we tell the story, bit by bit, to one another. After the lights are out for the night, we lean into each other and remember.
I am grateful for the kind veterinarian. Before the actual overdose of anesthesia the vet sedated him and gave us as much time as we needed with him. His pain ebbed and his body relaxed. His eyes opened all the way for the first time in days. He watched and listened to us putting his paw out on my hand (an old habit of his). I held him in my arms until he was gone. It surprised the vet that he didn’t have the usual shudder and last gasps. Very peaceful.
After a few days of rain, a hint of sun in the morning. And I’m making bread pudding with whisky sauce as my dinner offering tomorrow. I might have put just a drop more whisky than necessary – but it’s cooked so it doesn’t matter. Right?
This captured me this morning. I needed it. The tenderest scene I’ve experienced in a movie. http://www.wimp.com/loveyourself/#
“When you begin to touch your heart, you begin to discover that it’s bottomless, that it doesn’t have any resolution, that this heart is huge, vast, and limitless…And if you follow your heart, you’re going to find that it is often extremely inconvenient…Get used to the feeling of falling.” ~Pema Chodron~
This is what happens when I’m on the floor trying to get just the right angle to capture a squirrel that landed on our window sill. Every time.
Silhouette through a foggy morning window.